


Robot

by ultimateslothiraptor



Series: Danganronpa One Shots [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimateslothiraptor/pseuds/ultimateslothiraptor
Summary: Kokichi needs to stop.
Relationships: K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Danganronpa One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920913
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	Robot

_Robots can't feel real emotions, silly!_

_Aww, don't blame him. Robots aren't supposed to feel empathy._

_Why do you want to be human so much? You know that's impossible, right? You'll never be like us._

Those words echoed through Keebo's mind as he raced down the hall toward the men's bathroom. Kokichi's words.

"Hey, where are you going, Kee-boy?" Kokichi called after him. "Bathroom break? Gonna piss out some tin cans? Take some lewd pictures with your eyes?"

"Shut up..." Keebo muttered under his breath, his feet pounding against the ground. "Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up..."

He rounded the corner, sped into the bathroom, and slammed the door behind him. He slid back against it and desperately wished that he could cry.

Kokichi was wrong. Keebo could feel real emotions. He just didn't always feel them at the right times or understand them well enough. And he couldn't express them in a human way, like crying.

He wasn't sure why humans cried. He guessed it was to let out internal pain. That was something Keebo had in spades. The insecurity about all the things he couldn't do... the knowledge that he would never be like his classmates... the doubt that he would ever be anything more than just a stupid hunk of metal. Everything hurt, and he was sick of it.

Keebo squeezed his eyes shut. He knew it was impossible for him to cry. He knew that, so why was he wiping his eyes anyway? Why was he trying to think of more sad things, trying to coax water out of tear ducts that didn't exist? Why was he still trying so hard to be human?

The bathroom door rattled behind him, and Keebo jumped forward, landing on his knees. The door swung open, and Keebo closed his eyes, prepared for more verbal abuse from Kokichi. But it wasn't Kokichi.

"Keebo? Are you all right?"

Keebo turned around slowly. Shuichi Saihara, the boy detective in his homeroom who always wore that emo hat. "Yeah," he said, wiping his eyes furiously even though nothing was coming out. "Sorry. I know there's no reason for me to be here –"

Then something happened that had never happened before. He got choked up.

He knew it was something humans did, but he hadn't thought he was physically capable of it. Apparently it was, because his sadness was leaking out into his voice, and he was pretty sure the distress was showing in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated, scooting back against the wall.

"Hey..." Shuichi seriously needed to pee, but this was clearly more important. He sat down next to Keebo and put a hand on his arm. "You want to talk about it?"

Keebo shook his head. "I'm fine... just..." He hadn't planned on it, but at that moment all his pent-up feelings came bursting forward to the surface. "Just I had to do this group project today with Kokichi in Health and we were talking about the reproductive system and he kept asking me if robots had dicks and when I finally told him I did to make him leave me alone he laughed and asked what the point was if I couldn't have kids and I said the professor wanted me to be as anatomically correct as possible and he said why anyone would want that because the only reason you would need to look human would be to get a girlfriend and he said nobody would ever love a robot, and..." He stopped for a moment and caught a breath that he didn't actually need. "And I'm just scared that nobody will ever love me."

He hadn't meant to say any of that. Shuichi was his friend, sure, but what he was saying sounded so childish and immature. Shuichi would think he was just being stupid.

Keebo didn't salivate, so most of what he'd said was perfectly intelligible despite how upset he was, but Shuichi was still caught on the fact that Keebo had a dick. Shaking off that surprising fact, he turned his attention to the rest of the conversation.

"That's ridiculous, Keebo. You might be a robot, but you've got a human personality. Once people get over the fact that you're a robot, you'll find someone who loves you."

Shuichi wasn't sure that he was saying the right thing. He wasn't sure of anything in his life, really. But he was sure that he couldn't stand to see Keebo like this. "It's going to be okay," he said, patting Keebo on the back as he buried his face in his arms. "You know Kokichi. He was just trying to get you worked up. He doesn't mean it."

"Well then, why does he always bully me?" Keebo asked, sniffing. "Is he just that robophobic? Why does he only pick on me?"

That wasn't necessarily true and both of them knew it. Kokichi picked on everyone within his line of vision. But he was right – Keebo was one of his primary targets.

"He knows you're insecure about it." Shuichi realized that fact as he said it. "You're an easy target because you're always talking about people being robophobic and how much you want to be human. He knows exactly how to get under your skin because you're always broadcasting it, and I think he finds your reactions amusing, which is why he picks on you more than anyone else."

Keebo looked up, startled. "You're right! So... do I just need to stop wanting to be human?"  
"No, I don't think that's it," Shuichi said. "But... maybe you should just accept that you're a robot, and you'll never be fully human."

Keebo's face fell. "Oh... okay."

"Not that that's a bad thing!" Shuichi said hurriedly. "Being human has a lot of downsides. You're sweaty and gross all the time, you get sick, you have to shave... it's just not worth it."

"Yeah, I guess." Keebo looked down. "But there are so many other things about being human that I want to experience. Eating food, swimming... being able to go out in public without looking like a freak... I'd be willing to deal with all the downsides if I could have that."

"Well, your development's not over, right?"

Keebo looked up, startled. "What do you mean?"

Shuichi smiled. "I mean, maybe someday someone will develop a program that lets you taste food, or something that makes your body buoyant and waterproof. Miu could probably do it. You just have to wait."

Keebo's face fell. "Yeah, but..." He picked at a protruding piece of metal on his knee. "I'll always look like this. Unless my consciousness was transferred into another, more humanlike body, but... then I wouldn't be me."

"Is that such a bad thing, though? For what it's worth, I think you look pretty cool."

That was the last thing Keebo had expected to hear. "Do you mean it?" he asked timidly.

"Yeah, totally!" Shuichi knew he sounded like a little kid but kept going anyway. "Your body is awesome. So sleek and futuristic-looking... I bet it's a lot of kids' dreams to look like that." He ran a hand down Keebo's face, causing the robot to blush furiously. "Oh, yeah –" Shuichi blushed too. "Sorry. That was definitely an invasion of privacy."

"No, it's fine!" Keebo said, his face still crimson. "Just, you know... a little awkward."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Keebo spoke up again. "I can feel emotions, you know."

Shuichi nodded. "Yeah, that was one of the first things you mentioned when we met."

"It's just..." Keebo stared at the floor. "Kokichi thinks I can't. And he thinks that's why nobody will ever love me. Because I'm not a real person, just some lines of code in a machine spitting out dialogue."

"Well, that's obviously not true. You're a lovable person. Someday you'll find somebody who'll love you."

"Yeah, but... I'm starting to doubt if I can actually feel love, myself."

Shuichi blinked. "What are you talking about? Of course you can."

"Well, how am I supposed to know that?" Keebo demanded, jumping to his feet. "I've never felt it before. I've never had an intimate connection to anyone before. And... I'm not sure if I'm capable of it."

Shuichi stood up with him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Okay, calm down. There's an easy way to test that."

"Which is?"

The answer was so simple Shuichi was afraid it wasn't correct, but he said it anyway because he didn't know what else to do. "Just do something intimate with someone, and see if you feel anything. No problem."

"Oh." Keebo seemed strangely uncomfortable. "Is... is it okay if I try it with you?"

"What?" Shuichi jumped back. "Why me?? We're both boys!"

"You're..." Keebo looked small, helpless. "You're the only person I can ask."

Shuichi didn't really want to do this. It was weird. It was wrong. But looking at Keebo, pitiful and afraid, he couldn't bring himself to say no. "Okay then. Let's... do something intimate." The words were uncomfortable in his mouth.

"Great!" Keebo looked ecstatic. "So, do you want to hold hands?"

Shuichi's face blushed so aggressively it almost looked purple. "Y-yeah. Okay. Let's do... that."

Keebo looked at Shuichi, nodded determinedly, and grabbed his hand. The moment they made contact, Keebo started to blush as well. "O-oh. I... I didn't expect this."

"Yeah." Shuichi knew Keebo was a robot, but... his hand felt so warm. Almost human. And looking into Keebo's face, adorably scrunched up in embarrassment, he couldn't help but think he looked kind of... cute.

Their hands released, and Keebo leaned down, putting his hands on his knees and breathing heavily. "So that settles that, then," he said, his smile slightly manic from adrenaline. Shuichi staggered back a few steps and leaned against the wall.

"I can't believe we actually did that." Shuichi laughed. "That was... wow."

They had only held hands for a few seconds. But those few seconds were more intimate than the two boys had ever experienced. And it was thrilling, breathtaking.

"Do you want to..." Keebo swallowed. "Do you want to do that again... sometime?"

Shuichi stared. "Um... yeah, totally."

"Awesome!" Keebo broke into a grin, ran out of the bathroom, and turned the corner to see Kokichi, looking at him with an impish expression.

"What happened in there, Kee-boy?" he teased. "Found a lady robot to suck your robot dick? Is robot sex the same as human sex?"

Keebo hesitated. Normally in this situation he would run away, or just tell Kokichi to leave him alone. But he was riding high on the adrenaline of his earlier experience. So instead, he took a deep breath, screamed, "FUCK YOU, KOKICHI!" and ran off down the hall, pursued by the grape gremlin as he did so.

Shuichi smiled. Then he remembered that he really needed to pee and took care of that. He left still confused, his heart pounding... but happy.

Once he was gone, the stall on the far end of the bathroom swung open. Rantaro Amami stepped out and looked around.

"What the fuck did I just listen in on?"


End file.
